we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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