My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
my poor anus
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
