I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
