All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Let's paint friendship bongs
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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