oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
