White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Hippo gnu deer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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