How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
