Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
