Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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