this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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