I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
