I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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