thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
your thong is hanging out like whoa
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
