i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
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Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
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Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
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