I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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