i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
