dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
We had sex on a dog bed..
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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