Screwed.edu
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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