btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
