Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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