but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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