When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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