White coat. Heels.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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