Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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