and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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