brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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