My room smells like vodka and shame
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize