Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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