he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
