New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
