Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
