O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Randomize
