my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
