I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Fuck appropriateness.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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