You don't have asthma, your pregnant
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize