You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
