The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
