Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
