so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
