Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Randomize