I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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