He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Randomize
