I am spending my child support on dildos
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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