This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
