I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
