It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
