she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
