She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
