There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
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