Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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