I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
