so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
