I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
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Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
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At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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