i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
