Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
