i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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