allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
