i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
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he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
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Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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