I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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