tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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