Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
pray to the hookup gods
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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