he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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