Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
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