Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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