I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
she woke up with a sticky ear
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike