Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine