I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
21 Reasons You’ll Be Forever Alone
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?