It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
