i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
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