she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
