wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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