they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
this will be a night to untag.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Randomize
