The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
