my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
