too bad you live with your parents still
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
